April 9, 2023

Most people would agree that developing self confidence is a vital ingredient for success in life. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to? Despite its importance, self confidence is something that a lot of people struggle with. If you’re one of them, don’t despair – there is hope!

In this article, we’ll explore the science of self confidence and why it’s so important. We’ll also provide some practical tips on how you can boost your self confidence. So if you’re ready to make a change in your life, read on!

Developing self confidence makes all
the difference in the world… especially your world!“.

Serge Grandbois

What is self confidence?

It can be defined as the belief in one’s abilities, qualities and judgment. It’s the conviction that you have the competence and resilience to overcome challenges and achieve your goals. Self confidence is not the same as arrogance or conceit – it’s about having a healthy sense of self worth and self esteem.

Studies have shown that self confidence is linked to a range of positive outcomes. People who are confident tend to be more successful in their careers, have better relationships, are more resilient to stress, and have better mental health overall. They also tend to take more risks, which can lead to new opportunities and experiences. 

On the other hand, low self confidence can hold you back in many areas of your life. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and fear of failure. It can cause you to avoid challenges and opportunities for growth, and to settle for less than you deserve.

Does building self confidence mean that you now have to challenge yourself to climb the highest peaks, walk the biggest deserts and swim the deepest oceans, and walk on burning coals? On the contrary, it means that you can surmount your own personal deepest, highest and darkest challenges… you.. personally. Developing a self-confidence mindset makes all the difference in the world… especially your world!

Taking one step at a time is usually how the journey of a thousand steps begins. You have nothing to prove to anyone except to yourself that you can overcome limitations, usually of the self imposed ones. These self imposed limitations are the true challenges.

Many people struggle with issues of self confidence but don’t know what they might be doing that gets in the way. Below is a list of 11 things we often do and don’t even realize are working against our own best interest, that undermine our self confidence, followed by practical tip to bolster your self confidence. These are then followed by 6 ways for instantly developing self confidence. Happy reading.


“A sense of self-approval is necessary for your well-being at all levels; there is absolutely NO virtue in putting yourself down, or punishing yourself with guilt or shame, because you may think you have not lived up to some kind of idealized “best behaviour at any time.”

Serge Grandbois

11 Everyday Things That Undermine Your Self-Confidence (And How To Fix Them)

Self-confidence is one of the most important traits you can have in life. It’s the foundation upon which all success is built. And yet, most people struggle with it. Why is that?

One of the biggest reasons is because they’re undermined by everyday things without even realizing it. In this blog post, we’re going to share 10 everyday things that are undermining your self-confidence (and how to fix them).

1. Negative self-talk. The way you talk to yourself has a big impact on your self-confidence. If you’re constantly criticizing yourself or focusing on your flaws, it’s going to be difficult if not almost impossible to feel confident. To fix this, start practicing positive self-talk. Take note of the things you’re good at and remind yourself of them often. 

2. Comparing yourself to others. When you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, it’s easy to feel inadequate. Remember that everyone has their own journey and their own strengths and weaknesses. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own progress and accomplishments. 

3. Procrastination. When you procrastinate, you’re putting things off that you know you need to do. This can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety, which can undermine your self-confidence. Anxiety is often a fear based coping mechanism to protect you from some anticipated failure. To fix this, make a plan and stick to it. Break tasks down into smaller steps and start small. 

4. Lack of exercise. Exercise has been shown to boost self-confidence. It releases endorphins, which can elevate your mood and make you feel better about yourself. Make exercise a part of your daily routine whenever possible.

5. Self-Disapproval. A sense of self-approval is necessary for your well-being at all levels; there is absolutely NO virtue in putting yourself down, or to punishing yourself with guilt or shame, because you may think you have not lived up to some kind of idealized “best behaviour at any time.

6. Lack of sleep. Not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling tired and irritable. This can have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep each night. There are also many ways to program your sleep using auto-suggestion to make better use of sleep time. 

7. Overthinking. When you overthink things, you can talk yourself out of taking risks or trying new things. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is a part of the learning process. Overthinking is a creativity and goal killer. It can lead to catastrophizing (anticipatory anxiety – waiting for the other shoe to drop) and will literally snuff out the desire to attain your goals.

8. Surrounding yourself with negative people. If you’re constantly surrounded by negative people, it’s going to be hard to maintain your self-confidence. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who lift you up and encourage you to be your best self. This has been been scientifically proven to be very important.

9. Holding onto past mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s important to learn from them and move on. Holding onto past mistakes can take a toll on your self-confidence, specially if you think that everyone will judge you for something you might have done or said many years ago. Surprisingly, most people don’t have the time nor interest. Forgive yourself and focus on the present. 

10. Lack of preparation. When you’re unprepared, it’s easy to feel anxious and uncertain. Make sure you’re prepared for the things you need to do. This will help you feel more confident and in control. It may require a commitment on your part but so worth the investment.

11. Not taking care of yourself. Self-care is important for maintaining self-confidence. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness. Good mental and emotional health practices help create great outcome.

By addressing these everyday things, you can start to build your self-confidence and achieve your goals with more ease and grace. Remember that confidence is a skill that can be developed with practice and time.

So, how can you bolster your self confidence?

Here are 5 practical tips to bolster your self confidence: 

1. Identify your strengths: Make a list of your talents, skills and accomplishments. Focus on the things you’re good at, and remind yourself of what you’ve achieved in the past. This can help you build a positive self image and give you confidence in your abilities. 

2. Use positive self-talk: Be aware of the voice in your head that tells you ‘you can’t do it’. Challenge negative self-talk with positive affirmations, such as ‘I am capable’ and ‘I can handle this’. Repeat them often, until they become a habit. 

3. Face your fears: Avoiding challenges and opportunities for growth only reinforces your fear and self-doubt. Instead, embrace challenges and step out of your comfort zone. This can help you build resilience, and give you a sense of accomplishment and confidence. 

4. Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential for building self confidence. Exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and practice relaxation techniques such as meditation or deep breathing. 

5. Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with people who encourage and support you. Avoid people who bring you down or make you doubt yourself. Choose to be around people who celebrate your successes and help you grow. 

Building self confidence takes time and effort. It’s not something that happens overnight, but with consistent practice and positive reinforcement, you can achieve it. The rewards are well worth it – a happier, more fulfilling life, and the ability to achieve your dreams.

6 Ways for Instantly Developing Self Confidence

Self-confidence is essential for success in any area of life. If you don’t believe in yourself, it will be very difficult to achieve your goals. The good news is that there are many things you can do to boost your self-confidence instantly. Besides, if you don’t believe in yourself why should anyone else?

Below are 5 ways to instantly boost your self-confidence. These are simple, yet effective, techniques that you can use to improve your self-image and start feeling better about yourself.

1. Dress to impress: The way you dress can have a huge impact on your self-confidence. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, confident, and attractive. Even if you’re not a fashion expert, you can still choose clothes that fit well and complement your body shape. When you look good, you feel good, and confidence follows.

2. Power poses: Power poses are a great way to instantly rise your self-confidence. It involves assuming a posture that makes you feel powerful and in control. Stand tall, keep your chin up, and spread your feet slightly apart. Take a deep breath and hold the pose for a few seconds. You’ll feel more confident and courageous in no time.

3. Speak positively: The words you speak have a profound impact on your self-confidence. Use positive self-talk and affirmations to build your confidence. Tell yourself that you’re capable, competent, and skilled. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, rather than your weaknesses and failures. Repeat positive phrases to yourself when you feel anxious or overwhelmed.

4. Take action: Sometimes, the best way to build your self-confidence is to take action. If you’ve been putting off a task or project because you’re afraid of failure, it’s time to face your fears and take action. Break down the task into smaller, manageable steps, and start working on them one by one. The more you take action, the more confident you’ll feel.

5. Learn from failures: Finally, don’t let failures and setbacks dampen your self-confidence. Instead, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Analyze the reasons behind your failures, and use that knowledge to improve yourself for the future.

6. Empower yourself. Commit to actions, thoughts and feelings/emotions that sustain and empower you. Read, discuss, watch videos that are geared to elicit the best possible version of yourself and become like a sponge to absorb all that uplifts and nurtures positive and constructive outcome from you. Question and challenge your limiting thoughts and behaviours and make peace with dissenting aspects of yourself so you are congruent, not divided. Remember, a house divided against itself falls.

Remember, everyone makes mistakes, but it’s how we respond to them that determines our success. In conclusion, boosting your self-confidence is a powerful tool for achieving your goals and living your best life. Use these simple techniques to improve your self-image, and watch as your confidence soars.

Photo by Pascal Habermann on Unsplash

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